because i'm a man

alright, i stole this from one of my followers, but it was so good i had to share.

• Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.

•  Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer.

•  Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

•  Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "Cumin" or "Tofu". For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

•  Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

• Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

•  Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger -- I mean, how the hell could he know where we're going?

•  Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex or baseball, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't.

•  Because I'm a man, I am capable of announcing, "One more beer and I really have to go", and mean it every single time I say it, even when it gets to the point that the one bar closes and my buddies and I have to go hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have my pals call you to tell you I'll be home soon, and no, I don't understand why you threw all my clothes into the front yard. Like, what's the connection?

•  Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

•  Because I'm a man, yes, I have to turn up the radio when Bruce Springsteen or The Doors comes on, and then, yes, I have to tell you every single time about how Bruce had his picture on the cover of Time and Newsweek the same day, or how Jim Morrison is buried in Paris and everyone visits his grave. Please do not behave as if you do not find this fascinating.

•  Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

• Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the 90's, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest. (this is a pretty old article =.=)

THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE FOR WOMEN, TO BETTER UNDERSTAND THE MALE ANIMAL.

sorry!!!!!11

I've been in cali! hell yeah. I drove down there from seattle which took 12 hours, last thursday night. I rode in my friends bmw, it was epic. We went down there for SOTU 2010 which was the most awesome cars how i've ever been to. There were such amazing cars, so many hot girls, loud music, and everyone was getting drunk. The after party in the hotel was even better! we had a whole floor to ourselves at the holiday inn! anyway, because of that, i haven't been able to make any new posts! but i'm back!

i wonder language that's in... oh wait

rawr

anybody else hate these lighters?

The platypus - worlds most bad ass animal?

"The platypus is a bit like a fruitcake. Shove a bunch of leftover genes in there, mix it up and send it to your relatives see what kind of animal you get.
That’s kind of the approach evolution used when designing this odd creature’s venom; scientists have just determined that the venom contains over 80 different toxins in 13 different classes. The poison can kill small animals, and can leave humans in pain for weeks. The venom is delivered through a barb on the male’s foot–it’s thought that the fellas use the poison during mating season to show dominance.
At least three of the toxins are unique to the platypus and the rest are strikingly similar to proteins from a variety of animals including snakes, lizards, starfish, and sea anemones. It seems that some of these toxins have evolved separately in different animal lineages to perform the same function, a process called convergent evolution. The study’s lead author, Wesley Warren, told Nature News:
Warren says that this probably happens when genes that perform normal chores, such as blood coagulation, become duplicated independently in different lineages, where they evolve the capacity to carry out other jobs. Animals end up using the same genes as building blocks for venom because only a subset of the proteins the genes encode have the structural and functional properties to become venoms, he adds.
Learning more about how these toxins attack our system and induce inflammation, nerve damage, muscle contraction, and blood coagulation, could teach us how to design drugs with these effects (like coagulation for hemopheliacs), or their opposite (like new pain relievers).
We first started unraveling the platypus genome in 2008, when it was sequenced and revealed a long list of this marvel of monotreme evolution. The platypus lays eggs, but it also lactates and has hair like mammals, though it has no nipples. It has ten sex chromosomes, which resemble those of birds, but uses genes from mammals and reptiles to fertilize and lay its eggs, which are produced from only one of two ovaries (the left one). It also has fewer smell receptors than other mammals, but this diminished olfaction isn’t that big of a deal, because it hunts by detecting its prey’s electric current.
Not only does the animal itself mystify biologists, but its name has also become a bone of contention among linguists, says Neatorama:
Pluralizing the creature has proven to be quite a problem not for just laymen, but even to scientists. There is still no universally accepted plural to the word. Most people believe the plural form should be “platypi,” but the real Greek plural would be “platypodes.” Scientists stay away from both of those terms and prefer to use “platypuses” or just “platypus” no matter how many in question."


by Jennifer Welsh in The Wide (& Strange) World of Animals

this guy is insane

they dont fuck around in south africa

Tips to Help You Become a Human Lie Detector

Tips to Help You Become a Human Lie Detector

DISCLAIMER: As the saying goes..."sometimes ignorance is bliss", for after gaining this knowledge, you may be hurt when it is obvious that someone is lying to you. Read on and use this information at your own risk. ROFL.


Introduction to Detecting Lies:
The following techniques to telling if someone is lying are often used by police and security experts. This knowledge is also useful for managers, employers, and for anyone to use in everyday situations where telling the truth from a lie can help prevent you from being a victim of fraud/scams and other deceptions.

Signs of Deception:

Body Language of Lies
• Physical expression will be limited and stiff, with few arm and hand movements. Hand, arm and leg movement are toward their own body the liar takes up less space.
• A person who is lying to you will avoid making eye contact.
• Hands touching their face, throat & mouth. Touching or scratching the nose or behind their ear. Not likely to touch his chest/heart with an open hand.

Emotional Gestures & Contradiction
• Timing and duration of emotional gestures and emotions are off a normal pace. The display of emotion is delayed, stays longer it would naturally, then stops suddenly.
• Timing is off between emotions gestures/expressions and words. (Ex: Someone says "I love it!" when receiving a gift, and then smile after making that statement, rather then at the same time the statement is made.)
• Gestures/expressions don’t match the verbal statement, such as frowning when saying “I love you.”
• Expressions are limited to mouth movements when someone is faking emotions, instead of the whole face. (Ex: when someone smiles naturally their whole face is involved: jaw/cheek movement, eyes and forehead push down, etc.)

Interactions and Reactions
• A guilty person gets defensive. An innocent person will often go on the offensive.
• A liar is uncomfortable facing his questioner/accuser and may turn his head or body away.
• A liar might unconsciously place objects (book, coffee cup, etc.) between themselves and you.

Verbal Context and Content
• A liar will use your words to make answer a question. When asked, “Did you eat the last cookie?” The liar answers, “No, I did not eat the last cookie.”
•A statement with a contraction is more likely to be truthful: “ I didn't do it” instead of “I did not do it”
• Liars sometimes avoid "lying" by not making direct statements. They imply answers instead of denying something directly.
• The guilty person may speak more than natural, adding unnecessary details to convince you... they are not comfortable with silence or pauses in the conversation.
• A liar may leave out pronouns and speak in a monotonous tone. When a truthful statement is made the pronoun is emphasized as much or more than the rest of the words in a statement.
• Words may be garbled and spoken softly, and syntax and grammar may be off. In other
words, his sentences will likely be muddled rather than emphasized.

Other signs of a lie:
• If you believe someone is lying, then change subject of a conversation quickly, a liar follows along willingly and becomes more relaxed. The guilty wants the subject changed; an innocent person may be confused by the sudden change in topics and will want to go back to the previous subject.
• Using humor or sarcasm to avoid a subject.

Final Notes:
Obviously, just because someone exhibits one or more of these signs does not make them a liar. The above behaviors should be compared to a persons base (normal) behavior whenever possible. Most lie detecting experts agree that a combination of body language and other cues must be used to make an educated guess on whether someone is telling the truth or a lie.

And as always, let me know what you think, be it good, bad, or indifferent in the comments. Keep it locked here for more Random Nuggs.

whack your boss

awesome desktop wallpaper

the moth joke

how long did it take you?

so beautiful

happy caturday

the question is...

HAPPY FRIDAY!

i'm so happy it's finally friday. this week went by extremely slow for me and i'm so excited to get drunk tonight, rip the bong, and sleep in tomorrow! sounds typical huh?

what's everyones plans for the weekend?

what a great place to bring a girl

Facebook Billionaire Explains Why He Backs Prop 19

"Late last night I reported that Facebook billionaire Dustin Moskovitz had given $70,000 in support of Proposition 19, which would allow people 21 years old or older to possess, cultivate or transport cannabis for personal use and would permit local governments to  regulate and tax commercial production and sale of the substance. (Click here to read original post).

Asked for a comment as to why he’s backing the legalization of marijuana, Moskovitz just sent this statement:

“More than any other initiative out there, Prop 19 will stabilize our national security and bolster our state economy. It will alleviate unnecessary overcrowding of non-violent offenders in our state jails, which in turn will help California residents.”

Moskovitz made his debut on Forbes list of 400 Richest Americans last month thanks to his 6% stake in Facebook, the social networking site he helped co-found. He has since left Facebook and now runs a startup called Asana, backed by several of Facebook’s earliest founders.

Moskovitz"

http://blogs.forbes.com/luisakroll/2010/10/06/facebook-billionaire-explains-why-he-backs-prop-19/

this is my hammer

This is my hammer that I master crafted in high school on the lathe. I left it for my teacher to use as an example cause he thought it was so good. I kinda wish i still had it, i put tons of work into it. What do you guys think?

free marc emery!

On Saturday, October 16th, the Free Marc Campaign is holding a Marc Emery Legal Fundraiser Moneybomb! Marc is hiring a US prisoner transfer specialist lawyer to handle the process of having him transferred to Canada so he can serve his time at home. We need your help!

Marc Emery was sentenced to serve five years in US federal prison, and will serve his time at Taft Federal Correctional Institution in California. Once he arrives there, he can file his US transfer application to return home to Canada.

The process for getting a transfer under the treaty with the United States has two parts: get approval from the Canadian Public Safety Minister, Vic Toews, and get approval from the US Department of Justice.

The Canadian transfer application when he was sentenced on September 10th, so the Public Safety Minister has the paperwork and he can approve it at any time. Please contact him and ask for Marc’s transfer request to be accepted!

more info here: http://freemarc.ca/moneybomb

how many bears

could bear grylls grill

if bear grylls could grill bears?

a duck walks into a bar...

A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we have no bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we haven't got any bread!"
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your dang beak to the bar you irritating dang duck!"
Duck says: "Got any nails?"
Barman says: "No"
Duck says: "Got any bread?

anti marijuana ad from harold and kumar never gets old

Wine? What about whiskey or vodka?

Pump-Your-Own Wine Kiosks Launched in French Supermarkets, Coming to US Next Year

"It seems like we get everything from automated vending kiosks these days, from cash to DVDs to postal service to gasoline. The French have simply taken the next logical step. Putting a modern (and greener) spin on an old way of doing business, a French vendor has begun selling wine by volume from 500- and 1,000-liter vending pumps in French supermarkets. All customers need is a container." - popular science

full article 

http://www.popsci.com/technology/article/2010-09/vending-vino-volume-frances-self-serve-kiosks-sell-cheaper-greener-wine

This is awesome, i can't wait for it to happen. But for in order for something like this to happen in my area, i would assume that liquor would need to be privatized. 

I think it's so stupid that it is not privatized already. We're limited to these stupid hours that liquor stores are open. They close so early! It would be so nice to walk into safeway 24 hours a day and buy a nice bottle of jack as opposed to hoping that the liquor store is still open and having to go out of your way to get it. 

It just dosnt make sense to me, beer is sold in grocery stores, why not liquor as well?

Anyway, this wine dispenser thing looks pretty cool and I cant wait for it to hit my area.

hilarious sick note

My fellow stoners

I've been thinking about purchasing myself one of these new iolight handheld vaporizers. Has anyone had any experience with them? good? bad? Any kind of feed back helps!

Homeless Mustard Sings "Creep" - Nails it

Bruce Lee is the man

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqC6jfRhyDE

hey japan

Annual American deaths from marijuana...

I love pictures like this that prove how harmless marijuana is. I'd love to see some more

Marijuana should be legalized - Reason Number 1

"Prohibition has failed to control the use and domestic production of marijuana. The government has tried to use criminal penalties to prevent marijuana use for over 75 years and yet: marijuana is now used by over 25 million people annually, cannabis is currently the largest cash crop in the United States, and marijuana is grown all over the planet. Claims that marijuana prohibition is a successful policy are ludicrous and unsupported by the facts, and the idea that marijuana will soon be eliminated from America and the rest of the world is a ridiculous fantasy." - http://www.alternet.org/drugs/60959/